~its been almost two years and it still bothers me. i forget it for a while. then it happens. the past comes up. then comes the feeling in my stomach that didnt go away for four months.....that some two years ago. then my mind goes a mile a minute. the voice...ah come on lauren you know your second best, your only here becuase she isnt, you were and are nothing but right in front of him/an easier alternative....... so the half hour i spent on the road driving around, trying to see through tear soaked eyes, only amounted to one thing....the loss of the ability to sleep. the lonliness that i shouldnt feel creeps back every time i close my eyes.
~this shouldnt bother me anymore i know. but it does, very much so. dont be mad if i act odd tomorrow, this is the reason and if you dont read it before i see you, i hope youll try to understand. .......hugs and kisses